On the third day of the Countdown...

My Santa gave to me...

If you are under the age of 10 or are excited for Santa to sweep down your chimney this year then I think you should skip reading this post.  Again, do not read on if you plan on having a visit from Santa. 

Some dos and don'ts for the Santa in your life

Advice #1

Santa, if you are going to go the vintage route please take after this sweet, generous man.  Look at his kind eyes, his well-groomed ensemble, the spirited way in which he hands over the check to the nice lady.

Santa, Santa... Please do not forget to comb out your beard.  It becomes frightening when it's one big cotton ball.  And remember the "kind" eyes of above??  You aren't really showing that side of you here.  And maybe while I am criticizing, you could use a bit less tension in those hugs of yours- remember, restraint not restraining.

Remember, kiiiinnd eyes.

Uuuuuuhhhh... 

Ummmmmm...

Wellll, you must be very sweet because the little lady next to you does genuinely look content and relaxed, or held against her will (potatoes/potatoes).  It could be that she is on a horse and thinks she may be able to outrun you (although I am sure she forgets that you do have several reindeer that respond to your voice.)

Oh, and, hey, it's cool if you don't have time to stop by our house this year.  In fact, why dontcha...I mean I am sure you'll be super busy and there are needier houses.  Please..  please.

Advice #2

Santa, I like the healthy glow in your cheeks.  It may be a little nip or sippy-sippy of something to keep you warm at night...nothing wrong with that.  You aren't driving! 

But let's take a sec to discuss the Mac compact you may be hiding in that bag of yours.  You may want to pull that out from time to time to tone that rosiness down a bit...just a bit.  There's a mirror on there too.  I'm just sayin'...

Advice #3

I'm no marketing expert by any means but it seems to me like you may want to get a new agent or an agent.  Remember, it's about the kids.  Plus, you don't need to be selling like this!  I know the economy is tough right now but enjoy your time off; you work hard enough one night to relax the rest of the year.

 

Any other advice for Santa??

 

If you missed any of the other days from the Countdown you can catch up here.